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Forgiveness

February 2nd, 2012

One of my toughest lessons about forgiveness was…learning how to forgive someone when the wound is still open and the issue unresolved…When you learn this - you have mastered the humbleness that it takes to forgive – Chitoka Webb

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Courage

December 30th, 2011

Be confident and go where your heart is leading you I’m sure it beats where you’re at – Chitoka Webb

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Anthonette Wright



Equality

December 27th, 2011

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law - Aristotle

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Asking For Help Is Your Responsibility

December 2nd, 2011

God makes dead end visits if you request them – Chitoka Webb “Something Inside of Me” In other words no matter what trials you may be facing…call on God

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Don't Expect What You Don't Give

October 11th, 2011

On a sweltering Monday morning a friend and I were jogging around our apartment complex as we did every day. As we were completing our last mile I saw my neighbor, a tall man with an Ivory skin tone that was smooth as wax. He always carried a brief case and sported dark sunglasses similar to the kind worn by the guys in the secret service. As usual he didn’t speak, he proceeded to his car put it in reverse and left. Huffing and puffing trying to knock out my last mile I looked at my friend and belted out “He is so rude”. I have been living next to him for six months and he has never spoken to me, not once. I waited for her response; I thought surely she would need a few minutes to think about what I had just told her.

 

 

As her thoughts were simmering deep down in the crevasses of her brain I continued my rant “What’s so hard about saying hello to someone it only takes a second. In the midst of my rambling she said to me “Chitoka, have you ever spoken to him” We had not completed our last mile but her question stopped me in my tracks. I was only nineteen, but something hit me like a ton of bricks. It was clear to her that I had not taken the initiative to greet him first, Heck I hadn’t even made the effort. “Chitoka don’t expect what you don’t give” she said.

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Bob Gundry



Keep Trying

September 15th, 2011

Whether the effort is big or small, every day that you get up and try...you're on the right path - Chitoka Webb

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Intentions

September 2nd, 2011

When your intentions are right...All things are possible. 

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Wow, this is in every respect what I neeedd to know.
Zaiya



Moving On

August 15th, 2011

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him-Dutch Proverb..There is no easy method to learning how to get through a difficult time but there is one method that never fails “Moving on”

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Yes ur right that difficult times can be very hard especially when u have gone thru a divorce!!  Being married 25 years is a long time!!!  I do know that I will get thru this pain and move on and not look back!!!  These kind of trials can either make u or break you!!!  We have to let these situations make us stronger on the inside!!!
 
Melanie Creasy



Change Is Personal

June 9th, 2011

Know that it's ok to break away from the world and talk to yourself,console yourself after all healing yourself is your business.....Here is an excerpt from my book- talking to myself......"you have to be willing to completely change, even if every single person you know makes a choice to never change. Your lesson for today is accepting that change is personal,” Chitoka Webb ‘Something Inside of Me” 2011

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Just ordered my book.  We see you at the book signing September 3, 2011.

Vickie R Malbrue

Thank you for your comment!
Vickie R Malbrue



Thick Skinned Winner

June 3rd, 2011

The first step to achieving is believing, no room for doubt thick skinned winner.
Grinding each day, thankful, grateful, come out of that shell you are more than just a sinner.
 
Keep on keeping on, the more you read you will indeed surpass the standard rising to the top.
Tune out the noise, demonic distractions, stay focus and don’t stop.
 
You are beautiful don’t believe the deceitful learn to disregard the static.
Do authentic; the fake is plenty all head and no brains finding pleasure in peeping and huffing plastic.
 
Born into poverty but abundance is your name, no blame in your heart it is open wide.
Making a way out of no way, washing clothes in dishwashing liquid when you run out of tide.
 
Don’t sweat the insecure that includes the haters, the naysayers, and the mouth poppers.
Look up look down God is all around; put your faith in the show stopper.
 
Be kind, no ego, drop it like it’s hot this is a prophetic plot designed to make the world a better place.
You are blessed learn to trust others of all colors go ahead open up it is safe.
 
Take one day at a time; Partner, Friend, Marriage, ask that all be revealed before you commit
Act like it you know right from wrong, when to talk, when to listen, when to stand and when to sit.
 
Above is home, already written, enjoy this timed experience that you breathe every day.
Your obstacles are your miracles, what want kill you will make you stronger longer that’s what I heard my mother say.
 
Never miss an opportunity to be great, tomorrow could be too late, breath, live, give, keep going.
Sow good seeds, through thick and through thin, no matter how hard, those seeds you must keep sowing.

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Different (Poem)

April 27th, 2011

 
 
Yes I am different, same journey different steps, I am talking to all.
In my family, cause I appear to have it together, I’m the last one that they call.
 
They click on links to people that they don’t know and tell their secrets.
But they have known me all along, given them hand over fist, offered steak but they rather have bitter beets.
 
They will seek you for understanding, they know better but can’t except it, don’t know you from real or fake.
I want to tell them, seal your mouth with cement, but the one with diabetes is sucking down the sock-it to me cake.
 
I don’t look like my neighbors can’t even relate to their routine.
They are planning vacations in the red sea while I am wondering why my mother has less love for me and more for the family dopefiend.
 
I loved her; I stepped out because taking care of her was on my mind.
But when I look back she vanished in the wrong nic of time.
 
I am black, but I understand you, the one that loves everbody, wishing to make America better.
Things have changed, hope has came; Statue of Liberty hands lifted high, I think I’ll send her my letter.
 
I am one but I know I am not the only one. I laugh for business and I laugh for fun.
Gave the ones that look like me a chance, only to be ridiculed and shunned.
 
Sometimes I don’t understand, I’m tired just want to be, I’m just saying.
Once read, though it may cost you all you have, get understanding.
 
Something inside, keeps telling me, troubles don’t last always, I want to believe and go on.
But what I get in return, you think you better than us, the aunt that I gave all to shouted on the phone.
 
I want out, I want better, I have put in the work, things don’t have to be this way.
Tyler Perry gave you an opportunity on today that you were crying about yesterday.
 
Your faith is in the pastor who picked up where slavery left off, not all but for most it’s about that green you got stashed in the crate.
You let him slide, but blame President Obama, cause you aint got enough food on your plate.
 
Love is blind, I have found out, sometimes makes you want to shout, even through disappointment it can be kind.
I am for all, aint always gone be here. Africans, Russians, Chineses, please just tell me where to sign.
 
I don’t know you, you say I am different, I think you’re smart.
You think I am weird, but I have not found a reason why we should live apart.
 
Sure, I know you have a father who has money in the bank, leave it to beaver mom, # 1 that is her rank.
It’s been in me since childhood, want to do good, brush teeth, never taught basic principles I am just trying not to sank.
 
Please don’t anybody else tell me I’m different, If I don’t know nothing else, I am responsible for keeping my light from going dim.
Met my daddy at twelve we don’t speak today, he got it confused, he says the fault is with the white man, I say it is the broken pieces that lies within him.

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This piece is deep.  Sometimes different can be a good thing and people just don't realize the end result.  Sometime life takes a toll on us when we try to present something to our love ones that they either haven't experienced before, or never thought that they could do.  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  I say "live on" and we will all see different because we change, people change, the world changes and things change.  I like your blog.  I sense pain yet I can see inspiration for your writing.  I sense sadness, yet I can see encouragement to keep on going.  Thank you for sharing.

Pam Thomas

Different made me think of that W.C. Fields Quote I recently discovered, "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."

You, Chitoka, are quite something.  "Different?"  Yep, wonderfully so, and quite something! 

May the Lord continue to bless you with all manner of joy, peace, and supernatural favor.

JoAnn Dye



Fear

April 26th, 2011

Fear is one topic that I have addressed since the beginning of my entrepreneurial career. The most common question is “Chitoka what is your number one fear”? I have the same response that I had thirteen years ago; People who ask me this question has surrounded themselves around the wrong people. In other words, they are out of their league.
 
When you surround yourself with people who support you and love you for who you are there is no fear. One Hundred percent of the fear that is in your minds derives from the thoughts of others and your willingness to believe it. But here is the key; others may say it but only you can put it into action.

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Life Has Some Side Effects

March 30th, 2011

 

In September of 2005 I had an unexpected visitor called darkness. While completing a last minute report, I lost something I thought I would never lose – my sight. A week earlier I was all smiles, as my doctor shared with me the report from my annual physical exam, “Chitoka, I don’t get this too often but you are 100 percent healthy.”

 
However a week later I was blind, without any warnings or reasons my sight was gone. Life has some side effects. It does not matter who you are, where you live, what you own or what you wished you had.

 

Now I am wise enough to know that each curve ball comes your way because you have the potential to catch it. You stepped up to the plate. Life focused in on you, knew you were ready, and threw you a fast one. Catch it, it is meant for you.

 

How do you hang onto Heaven when you are going through Hell? Let me answer that by telling you a quick story about a woman named Diane.

 

Diane was an avid mountain climber. One day she decided that she was going to climb the tallest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. After months of preparing for this grueling adventure, she and her team were ready. Diane began the trek, and while climbing, she lost her footing and began to fall down the mountain. Mount Everest is 29,000 feet tall. If you climbed Mount Everest you will reach the center of the earth and if you go another 29,000 feet you will be off the earth.

 

So Diane is falling, and she is falling fast. On her way down she grabs hold to a limb and she begins to pray, “God please help me. Please, God, don’t let me die.” She continues to plead, “God won’t you help me.” Then she hears the voice of God, “Yes, Diane, I will save you, but you have to let go of the limb.” Life has some side effects.

 

Can you imagine that: you are falling from the tallest mountain in the world, now hanging onto a limb that appears to be your only hope of surviving and are told the only way to survive is to let go?


Diane let go and she survived. During her mountain climbing training, she learned how to fall. She had a very, very long way down - but during training Diane was taught how to glide down in a zig zag motion instead of just sliding straight down, decreasing her speed and increasing her chances at survival.. Life has some side effects. But they don’t come to kill you; they come to make you stronger.

 

How do you hang onto Heaven when you are going through Hell? You have to trust Heaven.

 

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You Can Do Bad All By Yourself

March 18th, 2011


When your inner self is cracking into miniature pieces of despair, or when the weight of stress has reached the point where it feels like it’s eating up your gut – change is long overdue. Responding the same way with the same attitude to the same situation will get you the same result.
 
Business and personal experiences have taught me that “You can do bad all by yourself.” When I started my first business, a barbershop, finding a barber with good work ethics was a challenge. I did what most people do; when you can’t find what you are looking for, you settle for what you have. One evening I was sharing with my mentor about not being able to find a good barber. It felt like a mystery with no answer, and before speaking with her, drained from getting the same results over and over again, I was prepared to accept the behavior and the despicable work ethics of the barber who was working with me.
 
“Get another barber. You can do bad all by yourself,” she said pointing at a sign that I had hanging on the wall. The sign read, “Nothing changes if nothing changes”.
 
A light bulb came on in my head; you have not only taught this guy how to treat you, your acceptance of his behavior also serves as your stamp of approval. I eventually hired another barber but learned one of the most valuable lessons in my life – nothing changes if nothing changes.


 

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I completely agree with that statement.  Another one that helps me make changes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same things but expecting different results".  Yet, sometimes it is hard to determine what needs to change or what else is available.  Every time I'm in the beauty shop, I'm reminded that I have let something go on for far too long.  I absolutely hate having my stylist be late or keep me for five hours.  Something has to chance. LOL!

In my personal life, changing what is not working has been a struggle of course because those relationships are a lot more weighty.  Yet, even there I believe that I am finally finding my voice and not living (so much) according to how some one else, even those who I love, define me.

Warmly Lori
Lori Johnson

@ Lori , the beauty in your respone is - it shows all the emotions we go through when we know that something has to change. In my book "Something Inside of Me" I share different stories of how I learned that these emotions are necessary when complete change is taking place. Thanks for sharing!
Chitoka



Just Live a Little Longer

March 3rd, 2011

 

“Are you serious?” my friend said while wiping her mouth off after choking on her Grande latte filled with five extra squirts of chocolate syrup. As the smell of hot cream simmered into the air, I handed her my last napkin to wipe off the dark stain on her upper lip. “No, there is nothing within me that ever wants to be 21 again,” I told her.

 

During our conversation, we reminisced about days long ago; she expressed how whole she felt at 21. “Think about it Chitoka; at 21 your worries are different – you don’t have to worry about a mortgage, divorce or getting old.” Now with a tight grin I ask her, “So what are some of the things that you worry about now?” Still scrubbing the chocolate stain off of her lip, “Now I worry about how I am going to put the kids through college and taking care of my parents.” I came back with, “Well, Katherine, it sounds like to me that it’s a good thing you didn’t worry about all of those things at 21 because it’s sure not what you’re worried about now.”

 

Trying to bring my point home, I shared with Katherine one of the many reasons I refuse to live my life in a self-induced agonizing sylum.

 

When I started my first business, a barbershop, there was a lady that would come to the barbershop month after month always with a smile on her face. I could see ultimate peace on her face and in her stride. I had peace, but I wanted to know the secret to having it at 72. While looking over her haircut I  asked her, “Ms. Gordon, what is the secret to having peace at seventy two?” She smiled and said, “Oh my dear, just live a little longer” and never said another word after that. At 24 I really didn’t know what she meant, but after the years passed by I have always thought about Ms. Gordon’s answer to my question – just live a little longer.

 

Now that I have experienced life from so many perspectives I know what she meant. You will fall down sometimes. You will be betrayed by the ones you love the most. You will experience some setbacks. But if you keep going, you will learn that you did not make a mistake; life was teaching you what it already knows – just live a little longer and you will see that all of those experiences were soft nudges to push you into the life you deserve. No, I would never want to be 21 again. I am too busy loving 36 and living the only life I can live, my own.

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Stay The Course

February 17th, 2011

As I tossed and turned last night, pondering over what to write about as my first blog entry, there was one thought that kept coming to my mind: Stay the course. I had one of those “aha” moments while I thought of my personal highs and lows in life.

My soul whispered three words as I visualized the celebration of my successes, and I felt the brokenness of putting my heart back together again after a betrayal: Stay the course. Whether you are in first place or last, you’re running the race of life.

When I was younger my aunt would listen to me as I talked with her about all the things that I thought would surely kill me; after about ten minutes she would chime in and say “But if you don’t run on then you will never know what the end will be like.”

Run your race, live your life, and don’t let the voices of others discourage you. After all, what do you expect them to say. It’s not their race – it’s yours. You designed it, you created it; now the time has come to run it. Run Forest Run!

Run on, so you can see what will become of that wonderful business you created.

Run on, so you can see what will become of the mutual decision to be friends again.

Run on, so you can see how wonderful your life was meant to be.

In my life I have been in some high valleys and some low valleys. Now that I am a little older and a little wiser, I know the difference between the two – I have never found a reason to stay in the low valleys. I have a race to run, and I did not run this far to quit. I will run on because I want to know what the end will be like. 



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Dear Chitoka,
    
     I just want you to know I am so very proud of your accomplishments you have made throughout the years.  You set your goals and you were determined to succeed with them. While attending Paragon Mills, you were always positive and motivated. I wish you the best in everything to come with you. God Bless.

Sincerly,

Latoya Covington










Latoya Covington

Latoya,

Thank you for your kind words and well wishes.
Chitoka Webb